Secrets in the Mist Page 10
Or so I used to think.
Somehow in my agitation, in my eagerness to block out all thought, I had forgotten about the Lantern Man and the lock of my hair he now possessed that might or might not give him power over me. I was deep in the marshes before reason asserted itself and I realized how reckless I was being. My footsteps slowed as I tried to figure out exactly where I was. With my heart suddenly beating loud in my ears it took me longer than I was comfortable with to recognize my surroundings.
I was on a little-used side trail that flooded during the winter, roughly halfway between Greenlaws and Penleaf Cottage. Few people risked this part of the fens, even though it was entirely safe during high summer. It was that very fact that alarmed me now. The absolute solitude.
I glanced around me frantically, and then stopped. I made myself stand still and close my eyes, trying to sense if anyone was near. Each time I had encountered the Lantern Man, he had been able to sneak up on me. One moment he wasn’t there, and the next he was. My eyes and ears seemed unable to detect his approach, but perhaps something else inside me would.
I inhaled shakily and then released it, waiting for that moment when I would feel his presence. The reeds and marsh grasses whispered around me, pitched in hushed speculation. A breeze rippled across my skin, raising bumps along my arms as the sun passed behind a cloud, dropping a shadow like a veil over my eyes.
I stood suspended, my entire body tingling as I waited for something to happen. But then the cloud passed and the breeze died, stifling the murmurs of the marsh. The sun shone hot on my skin again. I blinked against its glare and turned to survey the marshes around me. There was nothing there.
Or there wasn’t now.
Had the Lantern Man been watching me? I hadn’t directly perceived his presence, but something had stolen my breath and directed the wind and the sun.
I pressed a hand to my heart where it still raced in my chest and frowned. I was being ridiculous. The Lantern Man, whoever he was, could not control the elements. This entire supposed encounter had been contrived in my imagination out of fear.
A cluster of marsh grass rustled loudly to my left, and I jumped and turned to stare at it. There was nothing there, except perhaps a small animal. Regardless, I decided it was time to leave. I wasn’t ready to return home, so I directed my steps toward Greenlaws.
Maybe it was past time I told someone about my encounters with the Lantern Man. Kate was the obvious choice for a confidant. I wasn’t sure why I had been so hesitant to tell her before. At the beginning, her illness had kept me from sharing, but once she had recovered there had really been no reason for me to remain silent. However, with each passing day and each subsequent encounter with the cloaked figure, it became harder to talk about.
Perhaps it was the absurdity of the entire situation. It was difficult enough for me to believe these meetings had really happened, let alone Kate who hadn’t seen him or felt his breath against her skin. I could only imagine her reaction to such a story, and her suspicions as to why I had waited so long to share it.
Or, more disturbing, maybe I hadn’t said anything for a far more personal reason. As frightening as some of my encounters with the Lantern Man had been, I couldn’t deny they’d also been thrilling. Nothing so exhilarating had ever happened to me. I’d lived my entire life insulated by the marshes. The few glimmers of excitement I had ever felt had been at the balls and parties hosted by Kate’s mother, and then later Olivia. And the latter events had been tempered by wariness and nerves after what had happened between me and Robert. My encounters with the Lantern Man were completely different and solely mine, as almost nothing seemed to be anymore.
I passed out of the marshes and began to climb the steep slope of lawn leading up toward Greenlaws. I was halfway to the summit when Robert appeared around the corner of the manor. I lifted my hand in greeting, thinking he would wait for me at the top, but instead he surprised me by striding quickly down toward me.
“You could have waited for me,” I called, feeling the burn in my legs from the climb.
“Didn’t you see Kate?” he replied, a hint of urgency in his voice. “She went looking for you.”
“Through the marshes?”
Robert glanced back at the house before nodding. “About a quarter of an hour ago.”
“Well, I didn’t take the usual path, so perhaps we just missed each other.”
“That’s probably it.”
We stood awkwardly side by side. Normally I would have expected him to invite me up to the house for some refreshment on such a warm day, but he seemed impatient somehow, and his gaze kept straying back toward the house. I couldn’t decide whether he was anxious for his sister or simply eager for me leave.
“Perhaps I should go look for her,” I finally said.
“Yes,” he gasped in relief. “That’s a good idea.”
I frowned at his odd behavior and turned to go.
“Kate seemed distracted.”
I glanced over my shoulder at him.
His brow furrowed. “I just want to be certain she’s well,” he offered in explanation.
“I’ll find her,” I assured him.
I wasn’t concerned. Kate’s illness had passed days ago, with no sign of returning. If she was seeking me out, then that meant it was regarding a matter she didn’t want to share with her brother. That, or she simply wanted to escape the confines of Greenlaws and the watchful eyes of the servants. As carefree as Kate’s life was, and as indulgent as Robert was with her, my friend still chafed from time to time at the restrictions placed on her.
I’d never understood why Kate had not spent a season or two in London like most women of her station. Olivia would have been more than happy to sponsor her and escape the dullness of life among the Broads. Whenever I tried to ask Kate about it, she refused to answer. Sometimes I worried she’d not gone because of me, but I knew there had to be more to it. Kate was loyal, but not so much so that she was impractical.
I fully expected to cross paths with Kate on my return to Penleaf Cottage, so when I reached our garden without seeing her I felt a tiny flutter of worry. Thinking she might be sitting in the kitchen chatting with Mrs. Brittle, I hurried past the herb beds and through the scuffed door. I inhaled the scent of fresh bread baking in the oven, but there was no sign of Kate.
“Did Kate pay us a visit?” I asked, hoping she hadn’t encountered Father in his current state.
Mrs. Brittle looked up from chopping vegetables. “I havena’ seen Mistress Rockland today.”
I bit my lip, wondering how that could be. If Robert said she had come looking for me, she should have arrived long ago. “Could she have spoken to Father instead?”
Mrs. Brittle’s mouth tightened in disapproval. “’Tis no’ likely, since he’s no’ left his study.” She glanced up at me. “Why do ye think she’s been here?”
“Robert told me she was on her way here. That we’d probably just missed each other.”
“Through the fens?”
“Yes.”
Her knife thunked against the wood of the table. “Well, I wouldna worry. It’s still daylight, isna it? And she’s as familiar wi’ those paths as you are. Mayhap she just needed some time to hersel’.” Her gaze lifted to stare at me through her lashes, and I knew she was thinking of me. “Unless ye’re worried she’s fallen ill again?”
“No.” In general, Kate had a hearty disposition, which was why her recent sickness had been so distressing. But she was fully recovered now, I was sure of it.
Still, there were other things in the marsh that could have waylaid her. She could have twisted her ankle. Or encountered an unwelcome stranger. However, as Mrs. Brittle pointed out, it was daylight, and the Lantern Men of myth, as a general rule, did not walk the marsh while the sun was still high in the sky. And whether by necessity or because he’d chosen to heed the legend, I had yet to meet my Lantern Man during the day either. Though, unsurprisingly, such a thought did not make me feel better.
I looked up to find Mrs. Brittle studying me with her sharp eyes. She had never missed much, and I began to wonder if she knew far more than she was saying.
“It’s just that Robert was acting so strangely,” I replied, wanting to misdirect her.
She stared at me a moment longer and then returned to her chopping. “Mayhap today was no’ the day to visit Greenlaws unannounced.”
I frowned at the top of her gray head, uncertain what she meant. But before I could ask, we heard a crash. I dashed down the hall to Father’s study and flung open the door. He sat among the broken pieces of an old wooden table, trying to push himself to his feet. Amazingly, or perhaps not so, the bottle of brandy in his hand was unharmed.
“Father, are you all right?” I hurried across the room to help him.
“Go away,” he slurred drunkenly.
I couldn’t help wondering where he’d hidden this latest bottle. Mrs. Brittle and I had cleared the house just this morning. I bent to grab his elbow, but he pushed me away.
“Go away,” he repeated, louder this time.
“But Father—”
“I said go away!”
The ferocity of his voice made me shrink back. He glared up at me with bloodshot eyes, and my heart, which I was forever believing could not be hurt any further, shriveled inside my chest. Mrs. Brittle stood in the doorway as I whirled around to flee, her eyes swimming with compassion. In that moment it was simply more than I could bear.
I ran.
Chapter 11
I
ran through the kitchen and out the creaking garden gate, down the hill to the trail that led to our dock. The weathered wood thudded and rattled beneath my feet. I skidded to a halt just at the edge, wrapping my arm around one of the posts lest I plunge into the channel.
The water below rippled and swirled, murky and dark with vegetation. I felt an almost desperate need to dive into it, to disappear among the submerged reeds and grasses and lost caskets of treasure, and resurface somewhere else, somewhere far away. I hugged the pillar to stop myself. Far too many people had become tangled in the vines growing just below the surface of the water and been dragged down to a watery death. I knew better than to trust the placid, harmless appearance of the Broads. They were as treacherous as any current or tide.
Tears stung my eyes. I swiped at them with the back of my hand, chastising myself for letting them fall. Father’s outburst was nothing new. I should be immune to the pain by now. I should refuse to let it hurt me. But it did all the same.
I sank down to my knees and sat, dangling my feet over the edge of the dock. A wooden splinter bit into the palm of my skin, but I barely felt it next to the dull throb in my chest. I knew I should pick it out, but I couldn’t be bothered to. I was just so tired. So very tired.
I stared off into the distance, watching the wheeling flight of two corbels. Their movements were like a dance, but I couldn’t tell whether it was playful or aggressive the way they swooped and dived. The light slowly began to fade from the sky, turning orange then pink and then purple, and still I didn’t move. I couldn’t seem to dredge up the energy or the will. I was conscious of the danger I was courting, but I simply didn’t care. Or maybe I did and I just wanted to feel something other than this numbing pain, this despair.
Whatever the reason, I sat and waited for darkness to gather and the mist to appear. My only movements were to alleviate the pins-and-needles sensations in my limbs as they fell asleep.
I’d just begun to give up on him, becoming unaccountably angry that he, too, had abandoned me, when I sensed his presence behind me. I don’t know if it was a small vibration of the boards beneath me from his footsteps, or solely this connection that seemed to exist between us that alerted me, but I was certain he stood just a few feet away. He didn’t speak, only looked at my back. I could feel the intensity of his gaze crawling along my skin, raising the fine hairs on the back of my neck. It was at once frightening and exhilarating, and thoroughly exasperating that he should affect me so.
“Go away,” I snapped. When he made no effort to move or reply, I scowled. “Clearly your possession of a lock of my hair gives you no power over me, for here I am…” I gestured broadly with my arms “…alone in the marshes at night.” I knew I was being belligerent, deliberately egging him on.
“How do you know I didn’t make it so?”
The low timbre of his voice trembled through me. “If you…” My words broke off as the meaning of his words penetrated my consciousness. I felt a moment’s hesitation, but then I shook it aside. “That’s ridiculous,” I declared, though with less heat than my previous comments. “You’ve been trying to keep me out of the marshes. Why would you suddenly change your mind?”
“Perhaps I missed you.”
My breathing hitched as I realized he had moved closer and I hadn’t even known it.
“Perhaps I want you near as much as I want you to stay away,” he continued in his smooth, steady voice. His words seemed to weave about me. “Or perhaps I’ve decided there’s a better way to deal with you.”
I felt the hem of his cloak brush against my back and I suddenly realized how incredibly stupid I was. Here I sat trapped at the edge of our dock with nowhere to run. The Lantern Man could choke me, drown me, do whatever he pleased, and I would be almost helpless to stop it. What’s more, no one would hear my screams. Father was almost certainly insensible and Mrs. Brittle’s hearing had diminished to the point that she sometimes couldn’t hear a knock at the door. And if she did hear me, what could she do?
However, he didn’t move any farther, simply stood towering over me, as if he’d expected me to cower in fear. Exactly as I was doing. At that realization, my dampened temper flared back to life.
“What utter twaddle,” I snapped, forcing him to back up a step as I rose clumsily to my feet. “I’m not some moonstruck girl. Don’t play your games with me.”
He moved so quickly, I wasn’t prepared. Reaching out to take hold of my arm as I backed away, he angled my body so that my shoulders came up against the post behind me. “Who says I’m playing games?”
The sky overhead was strewn with clouds, obscuring what little light from the moon there was. So even standing as close to me as he was, I could only sense rather than see his dark eyes boring into mine. Still, my heart beat wildly in my chest at his proximity.
In the past he had been almost careful not to touch me, but now he crowded against me, his strong hands gripping my upper arms. My hands pressed into the coarse fabric of his cloak, feeling the heat of him.
“You must be,” I challenged. “If not to toy with me, what else could you want?”
His already deep voice seemed to drop another octave. “That’s a dangerous question.”
Unbidden, my eyes dropped to the shadowed place where his words feathered against my skin when he spoke. I inhaled a ragged breath. “Is it?”
“Very.”
There was an odd note in his voice I couldn’t identify. Was it amusement, or something else? Something I hadn’t heard in a long time.
I couldn’t seem to form a reply. My whole body tingled with awareness and I felt my eyes begin to close as I swayed toward him.
But then he chuckled—a throaty sound of self-satisfaction. My eyes snapped open as he backed away, removing his solid warmth. Heat suffused my face as he tipped his head toward land, clearly signaling he was finished with me.
I stumbled forward a few steps, bemused and disconcerted, until he offered a few parting words.
“Stay out of the marshes.”
His voice was tight, though still laced with dark humor. It felt like an arrow shot into my spine.
I gathered my composure, striding down the dock with my head held high. I refused to look back though I wanted to. I refused to give him that satisfaction. Clearly, I’d behaved exactly as I said I wouldn’t, though he’d seemed to give every indication that’s what h
e wanted.
I pushed through the reeds and grasses up the path to our cottage as my indignation drained away to leave only confusion and disillusionment. I’d gone out into the marshes seeking something, and now, not having found it, I felt ludicrously disappointed. What did I expect from a cloaked figure who only approached me at night to frighten and unsettle me? I would be better off trusting Robert despite our painful past than a man whose face I’d never seen.
Mrs. Brittle had left a plate of bread and cheese covered with a towel on the table in the kitchen, and I was surprised to find I was actually hungry enough to eat even though my stomach felt twisted in knots. There was also a note addressed to me in Kate’s handwriting. In it, she explained that she had gone for a walk that afternoon, but not in the direction of Penleaf Cottage, and she didn’t know why her brother had told me so. I was somewhat shocked to realize that in my own distress I’d completely forgotten about her.
Kate’s note made me consider Robert’s conduct earlier that afternoon as even odder. Had he truly been mistaken about Kate’s whereabouts or was there something else behind his evasive behavior? Or perhaps Kate had been the one to lie. It wasn’t the first time she’d used me as an excuse. In the past, I hadn’t minded, especially when she wanted to escape Olivia. But now I wasn’t as comfortable with it, particularly knowing there were figures like the Lantern Men prowling the marshes.
Attempting to push the bothersome suspicions from my mind, I climbed the stairs and readied myself for bed. As exhausted as I was in mind and body, I should easily have tumbled into sleep, but my brain did not wish to cooperate. I stared into the shadows, trying not to think about the Lantern Man, about how much I’d wanted him to kiss me.